Let's start at the beginning...

I've always felt like an outsider. 

Even before I knew it existed or what it meant I knew I was irreverent.  I was born with a satirical eye, the gift of gab and an unbelievable thirst for pop culture. Unfortunately I was also created without an "edit button" and am"impulse control impaired".

Okay here’s the deal, I went to five different schools before age 11.  I was in a perpetual state of  “new kid syndrome”. The rules of school friendships confused me and I was never ever able to catch any momentum. I found that other kids kind of liked me at first but once we started hanging out all hell would break loose. Things would be cool at recess but then at lunch there would be rumblings about something I said or didn’t say and by P.E. it would be over.  I would be left friendless until being dropped off in front of a new school filled with the innocent hope of meeting someone like me. (Cue violins.)

Basically, I was a humorist, TV/Film Critic and D.J. before my time. I mean my audience watched Sesame Street and H.R. Pufnstuf. I never had a chance.

When I was in third grade, I dressed as Bette Midler for Halloween.  THIRD GRADE. I was eight years old! Who lets their child go to school as Bette and not Strawberry Shortcake?? My mother that’s who. Bless her she was only 28 years old at the time.  Barely twenty years older than me trying to raise two weird little girls and a baby boy.  Oh yeah, my little sister is also a weirdo but more on her later. Anyway, I can’t blame my Mom right?

The Bette Episode as it’s now referred to is a perfect point in time that best reflects who I was in its purest form. If I feel let down, misunderstood or isolated, I think back to the year I was Bette for Halloween and remember how no one knew who I was except for me.

To be continued…